How do you praise your kids?

Renee Jain highlights 2 common ways we praise our kids that are ineffective and can backfire:  

Mistake #1) "Good job"

Praising kids using "good job" is something I'm sure every parent has said to their kids. However, Renne explains that it is not a true motivator that will help your kids accomplish their goals because it is not specific enough to reinforce the activity or specific effort.

Try praising by specifying what the child is doing instead.

Mistake #2) Unconsciously labeling our kids with praise...

...such as " your so smart" "your  so creative", etc. When we praise like this, kids have been shown to obsess over keeping that label - in the end they don't continue to achieve for fear of "falling out" of the label.  

Jain recommends praising the process our kids use, for example,  "They way you worked out that math problem ..." or "you really stuck with that problem even when it was hard...".  

Instead of praising in non-value added ways, she recommends parents observe and comment on your kids behavior to engage them in conversation and recognize them in a way that engages them and sparks conversation. 


Share your personal insights, experience, and feedback in the comments below.